Wow... I am really starting to get excited about our Fall Harvest Gathering!! I have most of the menu planned... and the kids and I started on some pretty cool crafts to have decorate! I LOVE this time of year... and I LOVE having this gathering every year!!! This year we even decided to let the kids invite a few friends.
I went out today and picked up some last minute craft supplies. I cant even remember the last time I was in walmart ALONE!!! Yep... just me. That NEVER happens!! LOL But it did today because I had an appt with Courtney and her therapist.... which turned out to be a good session! Courtney was in a pretty good mood today so things stayed upbeat and positive.
Yesterday was Britt's gymnastics day. She is doing really well with learning all of the new skills!! She is also benefiting from the extra hour of tumbling she does! They are REALLY shaping her back handspring skills. They already have her connecting 3...and she is getting better at making them "longer". AND, she attempted a back tuck last night... they pointed out what would make it better... so I am hoping they can start working on that with her.
Goodness... I am so much pumpkin to cook off!!! I am hoping to make our way through school and get to work in the kitchen... and on some crafts I have lined up! But we started today pretty late, since I had an appt and ran some errands... Soooo... time will tell!
That's all I have time for today! Hope everyone has a great day!!! ;-)
Wednesday, October 10, 2012
Tuesday, October 9, 2012
10 Great Ways to Be An Unhappy Mom
I have to share this. This blog was written over at "All Things Mothering"... By: Beth Berry
I think it is a great blog!!
I think it is a great blog!!
Over the years, I have pinpointed a few behaviors that — though
widely accepted and even promoted by popular culture — simply don’t
serve me. Changing these behaviors is a process and one that requires both a willingness to take personal responsibility for our choices and a continuous countercultural commitment to creating our lives by a truer, though “less convenient” set of standards.
However inconvenient, these subtle shifts sure have made for better living in my experience — that is, once I sorted through the mainstream confussion surrounding what makes for good living.
10 Great Ways to Be an Unhappy Mom
However inconvenient, these subtle shifts sure have made for better living in my experience — that is, once I sorted through the mainstream confussion surrounding what makes for good living.
10 Great Ways to Be an Unhappy Mom
- Believe that you must have it all now. This one is running rampant through our culture, creating discontent within every demographic. Because we are suddenly aware of the existence of millions of products, experiences and ways to “improve” upon our lives, because millions of dollars are spent annually to creatively convince us that we need that which we’re suddenly aware of AND because instant gratification is now assumed and expected, it’s easy to see how we’ve become totally caught up in this defeating mentality. It is equally present within the mainstay of motherhood. We are taught that we can have careers, babies, balance within our homes, bigger homes, more time with our spouses, more organized closets, physical fitness, money in savings and vacations to counter the chaos (to name a few) ALL AT ONCE. Then, in an attempt to manage impossible loads (or ease our guilt for having failed to do so), we consume — because according to the ones spending the millions, that will solve the problem. Guess who wins in this vicious cycle?
- Compare yourself to other mothers (including your own). You are your own unique version of motherhood. No one right way exists to raise children. Just as comparing our bodies to the photoshopped depictions of the “perfect” woman distorts our sense of beauty and perception of what is desirable or even possible, comparing ourselves to other mothers — the lives of whom are either totally fictitious (instant bliss upon the uncapping of a bottle of laundry detergent), largely made up by our wild imaginations (“so and so” has it “all together”) or comparisons of apples to oranges (remembering your mother’s home when you were a teenager and comparing it to your current home full of babies) — leaves us senselessly unsatisfied and seeking contentment where it can never be found.
- Base your contentment on the state of your house. I like a tidy house. I feel more on top of my game, at ease and productive once it is relatively “clean.” But I would have gone insane (and taken everyone with me) if I held onto the idea that I could only be content once everything was “in its place.” Kids exist to dispel this notion. Likewise, feeling the need to apologize for the state of things upon welcoming unannounced visitors is like saying, “I’m sorry you have to see that we live in this house.” The notion that homes must look like display windows before they are presentable to guests is a crying shame in a culture so starved for community.
- Allow “them” to dictate your priorities. Every time we walk into a store, open a magazine, hop on the highway or turn on the tv, we are bombarded with images that shape our perspective on what’s important. Even seemingly harmless sites such as Pinterest can leave us wanting and wishing when we’d been hoping for inspiration. For more on this subject, head to my blog and check out my most popular post to-date, Let’s All Compare Our Perfect Lives and Then Try to Enjoy Our Day.
- Build stories based upon unevaluated “truths.” So much of the misery we experience in life is based not upon actual occurrences, but the stories we create about things that might happen (which we can’t predict) or could have happened differently (which we can’t change). Byron Katie’s Loving What Is is a must-read if this is something you struggle with.
- Play the martyr role. There are few more direct roads to resentment (both resenting and being resented) than behaving as if your own needs are of little importance compared to the never-ending demands of your family. Statements such as, “I can’t go to the party. I have to stay home to nurse the baby,” are about worthless for encouraging the sense of empathy you are likely needing in that moment. Learning to be an effective communicator will benefit you as much as your relationships.
- Make decisions based on guilt. We often say “yes” to commitments, not because we have a genuine interest in them, but because we have not yet learned to honor our own personal balance over other peoples’ perception of us (or what we think they think). Protecting ourselves from overcommitments is not selfish, it’s just plain smart.
- Stay isolated for the sake of “independence.” Though just about everything in modern (US) culture tells us otherwise, I do not believe we are intended to go it alone as mothers. We are not stronger because we “don’t need help,” nor are we weaker when we ask. Women all over the world raise children together, and have been since the beginning of time. Creating community in our car-dependent, single-family-household society is no easy task, but one that I believe to be essential in any conversation regarding the support of motherhood and the betterment of this country.
- Believe that you’ll be happier when_____. “I’ll be happier when my kids are out of diapers.” “I’ll be happier when we have more monthly income.” “I’ll be happier when the washing machine is replaced, when the husband comes home from work, or when my kitchen has been remodeled.” Really? Will you? How can you be so sure? We have no idea what tomorrow (or next hour) will bring. Deferring happiness until some hypothetical future experience only serves to rob you of the only happiness that truly exists — that which is available in this moment.
- Allow “busy” to become your default answer to, “How are you?” Busy does not equal fulfilled. Busy does not equal valuable nor important. The quality of your experiences is more important than the quantity. Feel like no matter how busy, you never quite do enough? I’ve got a post for that, too. Reword your everyday accomplishments and realize just how productive you really are.
What a weekend!!
We had a pretty awesome weekend!!
Stacy and Brittany REALLY enjoyed their whitewater rafting adventure... and are ready to take on bigger rapids!! They said it was a great experience, and they are glad they went. The picture they brought home is pretty cool!! I am super glad they had a good time.
We all spent Friday night at camp. We got there late, so we didnt have any time to do much other than get our bed ready and go to sleep. Which was fine with me!! I was exhausted.
Saturday morning, after breakfast, we headed out for a nice hike. We decided to stay on the roads and not take any trails... since it was hunting season. We still managed to make the most out of our adventure! Gunner enjoyed fetching sticks... he got to explore the woods some... since I cant throw straight to save my soul! LOL!
Brittany found a leaf with a heart shape missing... we had fun trying to incorporate that leaf into our pictures. The mountains are so insanely beautiful this time of year... I LOVE IT!!
After our walk, we packed up and headed to the Black Forest Inn for late lunch... before he headed out. I laughed so damn hard!!! A giant spider (Halloween decoration) jumped out and scared the shit out of my grandmother... LMAO! I thought she was going to have a heart attack!!! Then both of my grandparents and Courtney ordered Chef Salads.... I have NEVER in my entire life saw such a HUGE salad!!!! It was layered in more 'stuff'... french fries, 2 subs worth of meats, veggies, macaroni, croutons... I was beginning to wonder if it had any lettuce!!! CRAZY!!! My grandmother couldnt figure out how to even eat it. She just kept moving stuff from one spot to the next! No one finished their salad... I am thinking it lasted them all at least 2 more meals!!
Once we were on the road, we decided to take a swing through Forksville. We stopped to see if Stacy's parents were up the camp they stayed out over the weekend... but missed them. (They were out eating at my all time favorite place!!) Then we hit an overlook, which has lots of good memories for us. Then finally decided to call it a day and head home.
Sunday we picked a State Game Land tour and headed out. I LOVE with they open the roads for driving tours! There is NO WAY I would ever be able to hike the entire roads or trails to see all of the awesome things to see... they are just tooooo long!
So, we set out on a 14 mile off road adventure! We were surrounded by JEEPS... which was kinda creepy... but we managed. The scenery was AMAZING!!! Nature is awesome. Even tho I take TONS of pictures... no photograph could every do it justice. Mother Nature is amazing.
After we did the tour... we swung up through Forksville again... just because we were close. WE WILL LIVE THERE SOME DAY!! ;-)
Yesterday I had the house to myself. Gunner had training. He did great... I have some more to learn. LOL
I am constantly impressed with the intelligence of this dog. I am anxious to see how far we can take it... once I get more comfortable with this training style and make some adaptations for my own "disabilities"...
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
So as everyone knows the past few weeks have been "interesting" for me.
I am dealing with a bunch of different things...and starting to see things in a whole new light.
I have a bunch of things to figure out... like how I allowed myself to get sucked so far in to something so twisted and negative. AND... what was truth and what was just bullshit to drum up some drama...and sit back and watch the "show". I have held onto so much anger... and now, all of a sudden, with a break from the negativity... I am finding that it is GONE!
When a person has to go through all of the steps to create an entire 2nd FB account... just to keep up with who is doing what... There is a problem!!! WHO DOES THAT!?!?! If ppl delete and block you... there is a reason!!! Just let them go!!! (I have been deleted and blocked by many... and I dont give a rat's ass!! But I know... there is a certain someone who just deleted and blocked me... that will still TROLL my blogs, because I wont add unknown ppl to my FB) Why go thru all of that shit to remain in their drama?!?!? THEN, constantly want to dwell on it... OMG... NOT HEALTHY!!!!
Getting caught up in a person that does that... yea, not healthy for me either!!! I found it IMPOSSIBLE to let things roll off my back. The constant dwelling and stewing.... OMG... so not worth it. There is an entire part of life I blocked out and avoided... all because of "he said, she said" shit... and NOW, I wonder if any of it was even true!!!
I dont care if ppl like me... I dont care if ppl want to see Stacy with someone else... I dont care if ppl did certain things to "poke" at me... I DONT CARE!!! Stacy and I are together... we are both happy... we enjoy eachother's company... we are exactly what the other needed!!! Ppl can talk all the shit they want... I DONT NEED TO KNOW ABOUT IT!!! Unless of course they want to come directly to ME and say it... then, of course, I will gladly listen.
Now that I hit my breaking point... and started to "bad react" (which I dont really think I did)... there was so much bullshit. But whatever.
I can only imagine what negative things were said about me ... and my needy kids. But ya know what... I love my kids... I love having my kids participate in things with me. I love that they are also my friends. I would be lost without them!! There is nothing wrong with that.
Yes, because my kids have different "needs"... somethings need to be tailored to make it easier for them... and at times harder on me. I am their mom... it is my job. That means more work for me... yep, and they are worth it.
I cant justify NOT doing tasks to help them cope with day to day life... just so that it isnt more work for me!! Life will always be difficult for them... and they will learn to cope in their own way... but for now... I will help them in whatever way I can! And I will continue to PULL them out of the shell they try so hard to hide it!
I am so frustrated... and angry. There are reasons I dont trust ppl.... HELLO... here they are!
OK... time to get back to making my kids life easier!! We have math to to conquer!! And I have smiles to watch... self esteem to build... lives to mold! :-D
Stacy and Brittany REALLY enjoyed their whitewater rafting adventure... and are ready to take on bigger rapids!! They said it was a great experience, and they are glad they went. The picture they brought home is pretty cool!! I am super glad they had a good time.
We all spent Friday night at camp. We got there late, so we didnt have any time to do much other than get our bed ready and go to sleep. Which was fine with me!! I was exhausted.
Saturday morning, after breakfast, we headed out for a nice hike. We decided to stay on the roads and not take any trails... since it was hunting season. We still managed to make the most out of our adventure! Gunner enjoyed fetching sticks... he got to explore the woods some... since I cant throw straight to save my soul! LOL!
Brittany found a leaf with a heart shape missing... we had fun trying to incorporate that leaf into our pictures. The mountains are so insanely beautiful this time of year... I LOVE IT!!
After our walk, we packed up and headed to the Black Forest Inn for late lunch... before he headed out. I laughed so damn hard!!! A giant spider (Halloween decoration) jumped out and scared the shit out of my grandmother... LMAO! I thought she was going to have a heart attack!!! Then both of my grandparents and Courtney ordered Chef Salads.... I have NEVER in my entire life saw such a HUGE salad!!!! It was layered in more 'stuff'... french fries, 2 subs worth of meats, veggies, macaroni, croutons... I was beginning to wonder if it had any lettuce!!! CRAZY!!! My grandmother couldnt figure out how to even eat it. She just kept moving stuff from one spot to the next! No one finished their salad... I am thinking it lasted them all at least 2 more meals!!
Once we were on the road, we decided to take a swing through Forksville. We stopped to see if Stacy's parents were up the camp they stayed out over the weekend... but missed them. (They were out eating at my all time favorite place!!) Then we hit an overlook, which has lots of good memories for us. Then finally decided to call it a day and head home.
Sunday we picked a State Game Land tour and headed out. I LOVE with they open the roads for driving tours! There is NO WAY I would ever be able to hike the entire roads or trails to see all of the awesome things to see... they are just tooooo long!
So, we set out on a 14 mile off road adventure! We were surrounded by JEEPS... which was kinda creepy... but we managed. The scenery was AMAZING!!! Nature is awesome. Even tho I take TONS of pictures... no photograph could every do it justice. Mother Nature is amazing.
After we did the tour... we swung up through Forksville again... just because we were close. WE WILL LIVE THERE SOME DAY!! ;-)
Yesterday I had the house to myself. Gunner had training. He did great... I have some more to learn. LOL
I am constantly impressed with the intelligence of this dog. I am anxious to see how far we can take it... once I get more comfortable with this training style and make some adaptations for my own "disabilities"...
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
So as everyone knows the past few weeks have been "interesting" for me.
I am dealing with a bunch of different things...and starting to see things in a whole new light.
I have a bunch of things to figure out... like how I allowed myself to get sucked so far in to something so twisted and negative. AND... what was truth and what was just bullshit to drum up some drama...and sit back and watch the "show". I have held onto so much anger... and now, all of a sudden, with a break from the negativity... I am finding that it is GONE!
When a person has to go through all of the steps to create an entire 2nd FB account... just to keep up with who is doing what... There is a problem!!! WHO DOES THAT!?!?! If ppl delete and block you... there is a reason!!! Just let them go!!! (I have been deleted and blocked by many... and I dont give a rat's ass!! But I know... there is a certain someone who just deleted and blocked me... that will still TROLL my blogs, because I wont add unknown ppl to my FB) Why go thru all of that shit to remain in their drama?!?!? THEN, constantly want to dwell on it... OMG... NOT HEALTHY!!!!
Getting caught up in a person that does that... yea, not healthy for me either!!! I found it IMPOSSIBLE to let things roll off my back. The constant dwelling and stewing.... OMG... so not worth it. There is an entire part of life I blocked out and avoided... all because of "he said, she said" shit... and NOW, I wonder if any of it was even true!!!
I dont care if ppl like me... I dont care if ppl want to see Stacy with someone else... I dont care if ppl did certain things to "poke" at me... I DONT CARE!!! Stacy and I are together... we are both happy... we enjoy eachother's company... we are exactly what the other needed!!! Ppl can talk all the shit they want... I DONT NEED TO KNOW ABOUT IT!!! Unless of course they want to come directly to ME and say it... then, of course, I will gladly listen.
Now that I hit my breaking point... and started to "bad react" (which I dont really think I did)... there was so much bullshit. But whatever.
I can only imagine what negative things were said about me ... and my needy kids. But ya know what... I love my kids... I love having my kids participate in things with me. I love that they are also my friends. I would be lost without them!! There is nothing wrong with that.
Yes, because my kids have different "needs"... somethings need to be tailored to make it easier for them... and at times harder on me. I am their mom... it is my job. That means more work for me... yep, and they are worth it.
I cant justify NOT doing tasks to help them cope with day to day life... just so that it isnt more work for me!! Life will always be difficult for them... and they will learn to cope in their own way... but for now... I will help them in whatever way I can! And I will continue to PULL them out of the shell they try so hard to hide it!
I am so frustrated... and angry. There are reasons I dont trust ppl.... HELLO... here they are!
OK... time to get back to making my kids life easier!! We have math to to conquer!! And I have smiles to watch... self esteem to build... lives to mold! :-D
Friday, October 5, 2012
A quick update...
So I havent really been keeping everyone updated with what we have going on. I have only been sharing the things I have swirling around in my head.
Yesterday was another rather productive day! I have found that when I leave my cell phone sitting next to my bed all day... I am A LOT less distracted!! I have the ability to better focus on what is important... teaching my kids, training my dogs, grooming, working on projects in my house... etc!
I have also lost a boat load of negativity. The saying, "What you dont know wont hurt ya"... yea... completely true! There are reasons I block ppl from my life, my email, my FB page. Because their actions and the energy that they create are toxic. I enjoy the peace I get from not getting caught up in gossip and stories. Although, I must admit, it is sometimes fun...but still toxic, and not something I can deal with every day.
Last week was a real eye opening week for me. Tomorrow is never promised. I only have these kids with me for so long... and I need to do the best I can do to make the most of the time we do have together! I think my life and my priorities got a bit out of whack ... and I am doing all I can to sort it all out and get things back in order.
I am BLESSED with the opportunity to stay home and teach my kids. THAT is why I am home. My sole purpose!! They arent "bothering" me or being less independent when they need or ask for my help. It is my responsibility to be here for them and show them they way. There will be a day when they no longer need me or want to ask me anything... I dont know how I really feel about that.
Yesterday was such an amazing day! After a year of struggling with long division... we FINALLY found a way to make it click for Nathan!!! I am so happy... and so proud of him!! The look in his eyes and seeing him proud of himself was AWESOME! I am so glad I got to experience that with him.
I am no better than anyone else. I make my fair share of mistakes. I dont need to get annoyed with other ppls mistakes! Why not take the opportunity to lend a hand... and show some support. That is what I would like when it is my turn to screw up!! And boy, I screw up!!
My biggest screw up is being sucked into drama that doesnt even concern me... if even just to chit chat about it. I sit and judge. Who the hell am I to judge?!? Granted... it is obvious that some ppl just dont have their head on straight... and they may never. But is it directly affecting me? NOPE! Is it any of my damn business? NOPE! Can I do anything about it? NOPE! Will they ever change? Probably Not! Soooo... who really cares!!! From this point on... NOT ME!!
I have obviously had a fairly shitty past week. I lost my awesome dog... I've been sick... I blew out my eardrum...
I dont think it is the Universe telling me to "listen more and bad react less"...
I dont think I have "bad react"ed at all lately. I just have stopped taking part in the crap. I dont think I reacted badly in any way to the situations that were dealt to me... I am not a person to bite my tongue. I reacted appropriately given the information I was given.
I think the Universe is telling me to get moving on a more positive and productive lifestyle... with less gossip and drama and to mind my own business and to stop judging others!!!
I didnt need the crap this week... it was my breaking point. And now I will move forward in the best way I see fit. Staying positive and uplifting to all who are around me.
No more wasting energy... it just isnt healthy.
Today 2 of my kids head off to the cabin with my grandparents for the weekend... while the other goes on an adventure with Stacy... then we will join everyone at the cabin. The kids are staying until Monday... Stacy and I are only staying a night.
Gunner gets the rest of his shots today... Oh the joy!! LOL Then I get to enjoy some peace and quiet in my house while doing some grooming...I hope the dogs like my choice of music!! ;-)
Am I in a "bubble"... yea, some could say that. I dont really see it that way. I see it as being peaceful and enjoying some time ALONE! That doesnt make me depressed... or mental. It makes me HUMAN!
As I sit back and think this week. I AM TRULY HAPPY!! I am happy with my husband.. 95% of the time. LOL (He would probably say the same about me... and I am ok with it!) We dont have a perfect marriage... but who does?!?! We are drawn to eachother for a reason... because we are exactly what the other needs to have balance. We enjoy spending time together... We love our family adventures... My husband chooses to spend time with me and the kids. In the big picture... THAT is what it is all about!
I am blessed with 4 awesome kids!!! They are kids... they screw up... that is how they learn. I wish some would learn a bit faster... but in the big picture, my kids are amazing!! I have 1 who graduated high school... 1 about to graduate high school (and kicking ass "owning" her autism... I am super proud of her accomplishments!)... I have an awesome 14 yr old and 10 yr old, both following their own paths and making pretty damn good choices thus far. I am NOT a grandmother yet. My kids dont smoke, drink or do drugs... they arent out breaking any major laws (ok, traffic laws are a bit rough for one of my kids... but also my husband, so I will blame that on Stacy! LOL!!)
As I see it... I have to be doing things at least partially right! And I want to keep it up!!
(That isnt me having my head up my butt... it is me re-aligning life and making some changes)
I am blessed with a great home... (shitty neighbors that keep me focused on what I NEVER want to become)... We have family who would be there for us in a heartbeat if we needed them, even if we didnt needed them... We live a good life, we can pay our bills, our kids have everything they need (and most of what they want)... And soon we will have that metal roof my husband has wanted to badly!! LOL!
We are in a good place... and I am forever thankful!!
Ok... I think my rant here is pretty much done. Time to get my kids fed and packed up. Spend some more time on clutter control (I have a stack of mail that needs dealt with and tossed out)... because my kids cant even think right when they are living in chaos...and neither can I!!! Once again... I will profess my love for FlyLady... the routines that may be "boring"... but sooo worth sticking with, and allow me to have peace of mind and a house that doesnt completely embarrass me...most of the time! LOL
I hope everyone enjoys their day... it is suppose to be beautiful out today!!
I also pray for a safe rafting trip for Stacy and Britt... during their father/daughter bonding time. A safe trip up north for my grandparents and kids... Oh... and that Gunner doesnt eat anyone while we are at the Vet!! I guess this will be a true test of our new training!!!
Yesterday was another rather productive day! I have found that when I leave my cell phone sitting next to my bed all day... I am A LOT less distracted!! I have the ability to better focus on what is important... teaching my kids, training my dogs, grooming, working on projects in my house... etc!
I have also lost a boat load of negativity. The saying, "What you dont know wont hurt ya"... yea... completely true! There are reasons I block ppl from my life, my email, my FB page. Because their actions and the energy that they create are toxic. I enjoy the peace I get from not getting caught up in gossip and stories. Although, I must admit, it is sometimes fun...but still toxic, and not something I can deal with every day.
Last week was a real eye opening week for me. Tomorrow is never promised. I only have these kids with me for so long... and I need to do the best I can do to make the most of the time we do have together! I think my life and my priorities got a bit out of whack ... and I am doing all I can to sort it all out and get things back in order.
I am BLESSED with the opportunity to stay home and teach my kids. THAT is why I am home. My sole purpose!! They arent "bothering" me or being less independent when they need or ask for my help. It is my responsibility to be here for them and show them they way. There will be a day when they no longer need me or want to ask me anything... I dont know how I really feel about that.
Yesterday was such an amazing day! After a year of struggling with long division... we FINALLY found a way to make it click for Nathan!!! I am so happy... and so proud of him!! The look in his eyes and seeing him proud of himself was AWESOME! I am so glad I got to experience that with him.
I am no better than anyone else. I make my fair share of mistakes. I dont need to get annoyed with other ppls mistakes! Why not take the opportunity to lend a hand... and show some support. That is what I would like when it is my turn to screw up!! And boy, I screw up!!
My biggest screw up is being sucked into drama that doesnt even concern me... if even just to chit chat about it. I sit and judge. Who the hell am I to judge?!? Granted... it is obvious that some ppl just dont have their head on straight... and they may never. But is it directly affecting me? NOPE! Is it any of my damn business? NOPE! Can I do anything about it? NOPE! Will they ever change? Probably Not! Soooo... who really cares!!! From this point on... NOT ME!!
I have obviously had a fairly shitty past week. I lost my awesome dog... I've been sick... I blew out my eardrum...
I dont think it is the Universe telling me to "listen more and bad react less"...
I dont think I have "bad react"ed at all lately. I just have stopped taking part in the crap. I dont think I reacted badly in any way to the situations that were dealt to me... I am not a person to bite my tongue. I reacted appropriately given the information I was given.
I think the Universe is telling me to get moving on a more positive and productive lifestyle... with less gossip and drama and to mind my own business and to stop judging others!!!
I didnt need the crap this week... it was my breaking point. And now I will move forward in the best way I see fit. Staying positive and uplifting to all who are around me.
No more wasting energy... it just isnt healthy.
Today 2 of my kids head off to the cabin with my grandparents for the weekend... while the other goes on an adventure with Stacy... then we will join everyone at the cabin. The kids are staying until Monday... Stacy and I are only staying a night.
Gunner gets the rest of his shots today... Oh the joy!! LOL Then I get to enjoy some peace and quiet in my house while doing some grooming...I hope the dogs like my choice of music!! ;-)
Am I in a "bubble"... yea, some could say that. I dont really see it that way. I see it as being peaceful and enjoying some time ALONE! That doesnt make me depressed... or mental. It makes me HUMAN!
As I sit back and think this week. I AM TRULY HAPPY!! I am happy with my husband.. 95% of the time. LOL (He would probably say the same about me... and I am ok with it!) We dont have a perfect marriage... but who does?!?! We are drawn to eachother for a reason... because we are exactly what the other needs to have balance. We enjoy spending time together... We love our family adventures... My husband chooses to spend time with me and the kids. In the big picture... THAT is what it is all about!
I am blessed with 4 awesome kids!!! They are kids... they screw up... that is how they learn. I wish some would learn a bit faster... but in the big picture, my kids are amazing!! I have 1 who graduated high school... 1 about to graduate high school (and kicking ass "owning" her autism... I am super proud of her accomplishments!)... I have an awesome 14 yr old and 10 yr old, both following their own paths and making pretty damn good choices thus far. I am NOT a grandmother yet. My kids dont smoke, drink or do drugs... they arent out breaking any major laws (ok, traffic laws are a bit rough for one of my kids... but also my husband, so I will blame that on Stacy! LOL!!)
As I see it... I have to be doing things at least partially right! And I want to keep it up!!
(That isnt me having my head up my butt... it is me re-aligning life and making some changes)
I am blessed with a great home... (shitty neighbors that keep me focused on what I NEVER want to become)... We have family who would be there for us in a heartbeat if we needed them, even if we didnt needed them... We live a good life, we can pay our bills, our kids have everything they need (and most of what they want)... And soon we will have that metal roof my husband has wanted to badly!! LOL!
We are in a good place... and I am forever thankful!!
Ok... I think my rant here is pretty much done. Time to get my kids fed and packed up. Spend some more time on clutter control (I have a stack of mail that needs dealt with and tossed out)... because my kids cant even think right when they are living in chaos...and neither can I!!! Once again... I will profess my love for FlyLady... the routines that may be "boring"... but sooo worth sticking with, and allow me to have peace of mind and a house that doesnt completely embarrass me...most of the time! LOL
I hope everyone enjoys their day... it is suppose to be beautiful out today!!
I also pray for a safe rafting trip for Stacy and Britt... during their father/daughter bonding time. A safe trip up north for my grandparents and kids... Oh... and that Gunner doesnt eat anyone while we are at the Vet!! I guess this will be a true test of our new training!!!
Thursday, October 4, 2012
More reflecting... Another list...
As I sit and look back over my life... I realize that all of the good I have in my life right now... are all a result of changes I have made in my past.
I have never really been a huge fan of change. Like many ppl, I have fought change tooth and nail!! I have always liked my "comfort zone" and prefered to stay in it.
BUT... over the past few days... I am really seeing that once I muster up the courage to make a change, as my history has shown, things always end up better!!
Soooo... as per what I have been doing all week... I started a "list"... of how "CHANGE" can/has benefited me. This way, whenever I try to resist change... I have a reminder of why it is good!!!
(I am needing this list right now... as I am trying really hard to make some changes... and with the baby steps I am taking, I am already seeing positive results)
*PERSONAL GROWTH This one is my favorite. Change allows me to grow and learn. I discover new aspects of who I am. And even if a change doesnt get me to exactly where I wanted to be... it taught me a lesson or two in the process.
*FLEXIBILITY Making changes often, leads me to be more flexible and adapt to new situations better each time...expecially when something unexpected happens.
*IMPROVEMENT I am always looking for ways to improve... my life, our situation, my home, etc None of it would happen without "change"
*VALUES Change always forces me to take a look at myself and my life... a different perspective sometimes... which helps me to reevaluate my values.
*THE TRICKLE DOWN EFFECT Big, huge changes are difficult for me... soooo one small change will lead to another and another... eventually I will get to where I want to be.
*STRENGTH Not all changes lead to a big, happy picture... they can sometimes bring a few hardships. Lord knows I have had my fair share. But what doesnt kill me makes me stronger!!
*OPPORTUNITIES I dont have a crystal ball. I have no idea what is around every turn. What I do know is that every turn I make there will be new and exciting experiences and opportunities.
*NEW BEGINNINGS Change = The closing of one chapter and the opening of a new chapter.
*ROUTINE Well, after awhile routines get boring and make life uninteresting. I sure dont want that!
I have never really been a huge fan of change. Like many ppl, I have fought change tooth and nail!! I have always liked my "comfort zone" and prefered to stay in it.
BUT... over the past few days... I am really seeing that once I muster up the courage to make a change, as my history has shown, things always end up better!!
Soooo... as per what I have been doing all week... I started a "list"... of how "CHANGE" can/has benefited me. This way, whenever I try to resist change... I have a reminder of why it is good!!!
(I am needing this list right now... as I am trying really hard to make some changes... and with the baby steps I am taking, I am already seeing positive results)
*PERSONAL GROWTH This one is my favorite. Change allows me to grow and learn. I discover new aspects of who I am. And even if a change doesnt get me to exactly where I wanted to be... it taught me a lesson or two in the process.
*FLEXIBILITY Making changes often, leads me to be more flexible and adapt to new situations better each time...expecially when something unexpected happens.
*IMPROVEMENT I am always looking for ways to improve... my life, our situation, my home, etc None of it would happen without "change"
*VALUES Change always forces me to take a look at myself and my life... a different perspective sometimes... which helps me to reevaluate my values.
*THE TRICKLE DOWN EFFECT Big, huge changes are difficult for me... soooo one small change will lead to another and another... eventually I will get to where I want to be.
*STRENGTH Not all changes lead to a big, happy picture... they can sometimes bring a few hardships. Lord knows I have had my fair share. But what doesnt kill me makes me stronger!!
*OPPORTUNITIES I dont have a crystal ball. I have no idea what is around every turn. What I do know is that every turn I make there will be new and exciting experiences and opportunities.
*NEW BEGINNINGS Change = The closing of one chapter and the opening of a new chapter.
*ROUTINE Well, after awhile routines get boring and make life uninteresting. I sure dont want that!
Wednesday, October 3, 2012
Some things to realize and accept...
I have come to some sort of place in life... where I am spending A
LOT of time time just thinking. I know it all stems from losing my
beloved Amaruq. I havent been taking it very well... I know. BUT, it
has brought me to where I sit right now. At a point where I am ready
for things to be different... and I am ready to make the changes
needed.
Anyway... just some things I have realized and jotted down over the past few days of thinking...
* Beauty cannot be defined
* Perfection cannot be obtained (and it’s boring anyway)
* Love will be messy at times
* Other people will judge (who cares!)
* Sometimes there is no right or wrong
* No one else knows what’s right for us
* Tomorrow is uncertain
* There are things we don’t know (And there are things we don’t know that we don’t know! Crazy thought!)
* No other person can make us feel whole
* We can’t change other people
* There are some things we can’t change about ourselves (I will always have a fractured spine and have blue eyes!!)
* Sometimes there are gifts in the things we want to change (Because of my fractured spine... I wont kill myself being stupid on a motorcycle!!)
* We are worthy, just as we are (each and every one of us! Dont let anyone tell you different!!)
* We are going to age
* We are more than any one role. (We aren’t one-dimensional, and we don’t have to be...I’m multifaceted and owning it!)
* We are going to redefine ourselves
* We will occasionally have to do things we don’t want to do
* We will hurt at times (Pain is inevitable)
* We will mess up at times
* People won’t always forgive us
* Peace is forgiving ourselves
* We won’t always like the consequences of our actions
* We always have a choice in how we respond to what happens (No matter what our circumstances, we can choose what we do with them. We can decide it’s the end of the world, or start fresh)
* We are never alone
* We will lose things and people we love (but we can gain something from every loss)
* Everything is cyclical (For every pain, there will be pleasure... Nothing stays the same)
* There are some things we may never understand (life is a mystery)
* The worst that could possibly happen may happen
* The worst that could possibly happen might not be that bad
* We may not get everything we think we want ("wants" are ever changing anyway)
* Everything we do matters
Anyway... just some things I have realized and jotted down over the past few days of thinking...
* Beauty cannot be defined
* Perfection cannot be obtained (and it’s boring anyway)
* Love will be messy at times
* Other people will judge (who cares!)
* Sometimes there is no right or wrong
* No one else knows what’s right for us
* Tomorrow is uncertain
* There are things we don’t know (And there are things we don’t know that we don’t know! Crazy thought!)
* No other person can make us feel whole
* We can’t change other people
* There are some things we can’t change about ourselves (I will always have a fractured spine and have blue eyes!!)
* Sometimes there are gifts in the things we want to change (Because of my fractured spine... I wont kill myself being stupid on a motorcycle!!)
* We are worthy, just as we are (each and every one of us! Dont let anyone tell you different!!)
* We are going to age
* We are more than any one role. (We aren’t one-dimensional, and we don’t have to be...I’m multifaceted and owning it!)
* We are going to redefine ourselves
* We will occasionally have to do things we don’t want to do
* We will hurt at times (Pain is inevitable)
* We will mess up at times
* People won’t always forgive us
* Peace is forgiving ourselves
* We won’t always like the consequences of our actions
* We always have a choice in how we respond to what happens (No matter what our circumstances, we can choose what we do with them. We can decide it’s the end of the world, or start fresh)
* We are never alone
* We will lose things and people we love (but we can gain something from every loss)
* Everything is cyclical (For every pain, there will be pleasure... Nothing stays the same)
* There are some things we may never understand (life is a mystery)
* The worst that could possibly happen may happen
* The worst that could possibly happen might not be that bad
* We may not get everything we think we want ("wants" are ever changing anyway)
* Everything we do matters
Monday, October 1, 2012
Rough Times
It has been pretty obvious things have been a bit hard for us lately. Losing Amaruq has really weighed on us.
That pup has been through it all with us over the past 9 yrs... the constant everyone had, even while our lives twisted and turned in new directions. Nathan doesnt even remember a time in his life without Amaruq... since he was barely 2 yrs old when I brought Amaruq home as a puppy! AND he would always be laying in his spot on the floor when Nathan would sit on the couch and read out loud!!
Needless to say it has been a VERY emotional few days... and I am sure it wont be getting much better any time soon.
I think we FINALLY got all of the measurements down for our roof... and we are all set to order it TODAY!! This has been a 2-3 week ordeal!! Delivery will be Friday... and then we get to begin piecing together the puzzle and installing it!!! I will be one happy lady once it is all finished!
Stacy and Brittany are going on a WhiteWater Rafting Adventure this Friday!! They are pretty darn excited!!! Brittany is fighting the cold we have been passing around... but I am sure she will be all better by Friday.
Once they are home from that... the kids will be leaving for our annual cabin trip with my grandparents. Since our roof will be delivered on Friday... we wont be going. We are hoping the weather permits installing our new roof!!
(Oh, I did end up changing my mind on the color... still a blue, just a different shade now... LOL)
Saturday was a lost cause for us. With art lessons and me requiring a nap (because I felt like shit)... plus everyone being so depressed... So, NOTHING got done around here on Saturday. Nathan did muster the spirit to go to his skating lessons... and then Stacy took the all ghost hunting after that.
Yesterday tho... we got TONS done!! My shop got scrubbed from top to bottom, and we are working on some trim work and touch up work... Stacy also sealed around the floor so I can get a bit more aggressive when cleaning and not worry about water soaking up through the dry wall. I also painted the benches in our side kitchen... LOVE the way they look now. I repotted some plants. The girls dusted the hutch and all of the plates and things on it. AND... the pool was put away for the winter!!
Once the rain hit, we packed everything up and called it quits. When the sun came back out 20 minutes later... we decided to go on a family adventure!
We decided on a trip to Centralia! We all really like it there. We managed to walked ALL of Graffiti Highway... and avoid getting hit by ppl on 4 wheelers!! :-) We visited the oldest cemetery in the ghost town... then went to the area with the fires still burning to warm up! LOL
It was a good day!
I have sooooo much to do today!!! Laundry (gotta get everything washed and hung out before we have 2 days of rain), must pay bills, go grocery shopping... get things ready for the weekend. AND, make sure we work ahead some on school work!
No pressure... LOL!!
Well, that is all I have time for today... my next load of laundry is waiting to be hung!
I hope everyone has a great first day of OCTOBER!!! (Only 26 more days until my "baby" is 11!!)
That pup has been through it all with us over the past 9 yrs... the constant everyone had, even while our lives twisted and turned in new directions. Nathan doesnt even remember a time in his life without Amaruq... since he was barely 2 yrs old when I brought Amaruq home as a puppy! AND he would always be laying in his spot on the floor when Nathan would sit on the couch and read out loud!!
Needless to say it has been a VERY emotional few days... and I am sure it wont be getting much better any time soon.
I think we FINALLY got all of the measurements down for our roof... and we are all set to order it TODAY!! This has been a 2-3 week ordeal!! Delivery will be Friday... and then we get to begin piecing together the puzzle and installing it!!! I will be one happy lady once it is all finished!
Stacy and Brittany are going on a WhiteWater Rafting Adventure this Friday!! They are pretty darn excited!!! Brittany is fighting the cold we have been passing around... but I am sure she will be all better by Friday.
Once they are home from that... the kids will be leaving for our annual cabin trip with my grandparents. Since our roof will be delivered on Friday... we wont be going. We are hoping the weather permits installing our new roof!!
(Oh, I did end up changing my mind on the color... still a blue, just a different shade now... LOL)
Saturday was a lost cause for us. With art lessons and me requiring a nap (because I felt like shit)... plus everyone being so depressed... So, NOTHING got done around here on Saturday. Nathan did muster the spirit to go to his skating lessons... and then Stacy took the all ghost hunting after that.
Yesterday tho... we got TONS done!! My shop got scrubbed from top to bottom, and we are working on some trim work and touch up work... Stacy also sealed around the floor so I can get a bit more aggressive when cleaning and not worry about water soaking up through the dry wall. I also painted the benches in our side kitchen... LOVE the way they look now. I repotted some plants. The girls dusted the hutch and all of the plates and things on it. AND... the pool was put away for the winter!!
Once the rain hit, we packed everything up and called it quits. When the sun came back out 20 minutes later... we decided to go on a family adventure!
We decided on a trip to Centralia! We all really like it there. We managed to walked ALL of Graffiti Highway... and avoid getting hit by ppl on 4 wheelers!! :-) We visited the oldest cemetery in the ghost town... then went to the area with the fires still burning to warm up! LOL
It was a good day!
I have sooooo much to do today!!! Laundry (gotta get everything washed and hung out before we have 2 days of rain), must pay bills, go grocery shopping... get things ready for the weekend. AND, make sure we work ahead some on school work!
No pressure... LOL!!
Well, that is all I have time for today... my next load of laundry is waiting to be hung!
I hope everyone has a great first day of OCTOBER!!! (Only 26 more days until my "baby" is 11!!)
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